Many happenings lately... lost for words to describe... sigh!!! finally my prelims ended.. but the actual one is just around the corner.stressed! But this whole wk i've been slacking.. too lazy le... tk this opportunity to recharge b4 the fight!
Lately, i find that ppl attitude changed. From my 1st good impression of them to a very bad one. They may appeared to be frend;y, kind and easy-going person.. but as days go by, u'll find that those are jus the surface of them, rather a fake one! The truth is yet to be discoverd! When they need you they'll treat u like buddy, if they dun need you, they'll just treat u like a clown, their entertainer! god dam stupid!! I dun really care how ppl say about me, hw they look at me, i'll jus pretend nothing happen. I'll try not to show "face" to them... but deep down, no one knows how hurting it is. THere's hardly anyone i can vent at, no 1 there to understand my sorrows... i'll jus hv to keep it to myself and solve things alone.
People will ask... why dun i share with others? they may think that its me who doesnt want to share it with them even they initate to be my listener... But well... i'll ask myself does it helps? can they really help? or jus giv them more chance to add salt to my wounds.... freaking tired of such person. i cant really talk to them in peace...imagine every phrase i say hv to go thru the thinking process of "am i using the right words? will i be 'attk' if i use those words?" LOL isnt that hilarious? to think that much when im jus trying to have a little chat with my frenz.... HAHAHA it really made me laugh out loud at times. Even tho i could find a gd listener even in the cyber world, but i dun trust them 100%. Its not that i mean they will betray me, its whether they are 100% trying to help me, or jus listen for the sake of listening, trying to "fu yan" me. lol.. i really duno. When i tot he's the right one to talk too, the reply he gave either make me more confused or it jus rubbish. SIGH! i have NV find a person who i can speak too freely. i wonder will that day comes? HAHAHA well maybe i keep to much to myself. There's only a "someone" that could listen to me quietly, withing sarcastic remarks, and thats my BLOG! i can just throw any rubbish to it, it will only accept everything of me, and not spoiling my day!!
There are also people who they think they treat u very well... but end up u are jus the substitute. When they are down, they look for u, hoping that u can ease their minds and feelings, but when they are in their nine clouds, they'll just "yin chou" u, cant bother much about u... so why mus i treat them so nice? i'll jus changed! and be jus myself! not to be nice to others... well, others may think im acting "da fang" but who cares... u GUYS NV noe others' feelings! so god dam stop ur sarcasm! u jus dun know when u're hurting others.
SIGH! this few wks had me real bad for me... the feelings, the thoughts, the people... *pant* I had nv write such a long post b4... but i had no choice, this is the onli way that i could vent it out!
"PLS learn to take the role of others" put urself in their shoes. and u'll know how deeply u had hurt a fren! idiots!!!!!!!!!!!
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